Playing it Close to the Breasts

There’s a strange little something in the works on the side. It was begun as a way to warm up each day for vampire work, but it’s taken on a life of its own, going from flash fiction chuckles to snickery short. Now it’s approaching horrifically giggly novella-length, and it’s not done yet. It will appear in e-format well before Candle Bay is in print. And there’s a surprise attached, but for now, I shall say no more.



I was sitting at my keyboard working on my new book and trying to ignore my hunger pangs when Jerod Scott stopped by to tell me he’d just posted an erotic poem on his blog, JSA Scribes.  Well, now I’m thinking about food AND sex, so I thought I’d share a poem I wrote a few years ago for an anthology called Devil’s Wine. Now that I’ve gotten this off my chest, I can go back to vampire sex!




Wendy’s so hot and juicy tonight.

“You want the works?” she asks, licking her lips.

Smiling coyly, she studies me.

She is fresh.

I am hot.

I nod.

She smiles then drops her gaze and asks,

“Jack’s in the box?”

“Not yet,” I reply. “He’s still in the bag.”

“Home of the whopper,” she murmurs

as she unwraps my package.

I can feel the salty heat steam forth as she pulls my offerings free.

“Super-sized,” she admires.

“Oh, darling Wendy,” I whisper as she offers me briefly a perfect white breast, “You’re so hot and juicy.”

I am a man of few clichés.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, big boy,” she cautions.

She takes away her succulent breast

and bends to examine my provisions more closely.

First she investigates my buns.

Plain, the way I know she likes them.

No sesame seeds. (They get stuck in her teeth.)

And then she moves on to the meat.

“Mmm,” she says after a long moment. “Cheese. And extra mayo.”

Embarrassment pinks my cheeks like rough rose petals.

I take my whopper from her hungry hands and quickly wipe off the extras toppings.

She looks surprised that I would do this.

“You deserve a break today.” I tell her.

Wendy’s eyes glisten with appreciation and she bends to her supper.

After a moment, I ask, “Do you have the in and out urge?”

But she only shakes her head and mutters,

“Don’t bother me, I’m eating.”

© 2003, 2013 Tamara Thorne

Hot Burger Love originally appeared in The Devil’s Rain, edited by Tom Piccirilli